Blood Car Review
Written by: Tim Hannigan
It’s hard to define what exactly makes a “cult” film. They are typically quirky independent visions which have no intention of conforming to the cookie-cutter dictates of the movie “business”. With most cult films it is not about box office or test audiences, but rather about producing something which may or may not find an audience. Whatever a cult movie is, “Blood Car” definitely screams cult classic from the moment the first few frames of the film begin.
Blood Car tells the tale of Archie, a tofu-eating, bicycle riding, kindergarten teaching vegan trying to find a way to solve a gasoline crisis by converting wheatgrass into fuel to power an engine. Archie lives in a near future society (approximately two weeks from now) where gas prices have risen to over $32.00 a gallon, and only the super-rich can afford to drive a car.
His wheatgrass experiment seems to be going nowhere until he accidentally cuts himself, dripping blood into his wheatgrass concoction and suddenly sparking a motor to life. Using his blood for gasoline, he is able to drive his car. In this future society women love cars and Archie catches the eye of a woman who works at the local meat stand (much to the disappointment of the woman that works at the vegetable stand across the way). In order to keep her interest he must keep his car running, which means more blood. There is a hilarious sequence where Archie, wearing a “Dolphins are Dandy” t-shirt, takes a pellet gun and goes on an animal murdering rampage. Unfortunately for the animals that lost their lives to the pellet gun-toting vegan, his SPCA’s worst nightmare activities were for naught as only human blood will work. Archie tricks out his ride with a spinning razor blade in his trunk and begins feeding victims to his car to keep on rollin’. Archie soon catches the eye of the “Government” who want to use his technology to fuel cars, tanks and lawn-mowers with human blood.
This movie is laugh out loud funny while splattering plenty of the red stuff around. Archie’s ride puts the ‘car’ in ‘carnage’ as the spinning blades chew through characters like a fusion-powered cuisinart. Mike Brune who plays Archie delivers a brilliant performance as the vegan learning the human cost of keeping cars on the road. The only name in the cast is Anna Chlumsky – who had some success as a child actor in “My Girl”. For a one-time child actor, landing a role in a camp classic is much better than being cracked out on season fifty of “The Surreal Life”.
I would be surprised if this film gets a theatrical release but if you enjoy keeping the laughter in slaughter I’m sure you’ll be able to track this film down on DVD.